Sparky's Lounge
by AnnaSun
Summary: Rygel's got his own show This should make you laugh! DRD 1812 UP! Please R
1. Interview Chiana

What the Yotz, Oh frell! Sorry the microphone slipped. Anyway Hello and welcome to Sparky's Lounge with me your host Dominar Rygel Sixteenth. Ruler to over six hundred billion subjects, oh and of course the cookie jar!

Feed me more!!!

Enough jabbering and back to today's show. It's a Farscape special and the most royal alien in the Uncharted Territories, moi is going to interview the characters of Farscape to find out a little more about them. So here goes: lets welcome our first guest the grey trelk Chiana

(Applause from audience as Chiana enters toward the hot seat)

__

"What did you call me Frog lips?" (Chiana gives evil glare)

"Sorry, don't hurt me, please" (Rygel bends head in begging position)

__

"Piece of dren!" (Chiana sits in the hot seat)

So Chiana lets get on with the interview. To start with can you tell me a little about yourself.

__

"My names Chiana, I'm a Nabari and I like snurching things!"

"Great start. On with question one"

1. What is your greatest fear?

__

"I suppose it will be seeing Nerri die. He's my only sibling"

2. What is your favourite drink?

__

"That easy. raslak…..ummm hot raslak"

3. What's your favourite saying?

__

"That's easy, Frell.

4. What do you dream about?

__

"Defiantly not you. Next question" (laughter from audience)

5. Who killed Sallis?

__

"Me of course! No actually I'm not telling you"

6. What's your earliest memory?

__

"I don't really remember. Probably Nerri and I on Nabari Prime getting into trouble do doubt!"

7. Who do you hate on Moya?

__

"No-one we're like family. But if I had to pick one it would be you, slug head!" (applaud from audience)

8. When was the last time you had sex?

__

"About an arn ago. I'm bed with…."

"ENOUGH!" (Rygel shouts)

9. Do you consider getting married?

__

"One day yes. If D'Argo wishes it, I'll go for it and then have children afterwards"

10. How would you define yourself in three words?

__

"Young, sexy and a distraction causer" (Buzzer goes off)

"Frell look at the time. I am afraid your interview is over. Thanks for sharing

__

"Anytime, Ryge and next time I want an entrance in a fast car, one of those trucks from Earth" (Audience laugh)

(Chiana leaves the hot seat and skips away singing to herself)


	2. Interview Officer Aeryn Sun

"Now onto our second interview with the brutish Peacekeeper skank, Officer Aeryn Sun. Sorry, didn't mean it please, forgive me."

__

"Rygel!" (Aeryn enters holding pulse pistol. Crowd cheers)

(Rygel ducks as Aeryn shoots Pulse Pistol)

"Before you kill me lets hear a bit about yourself"

__

"My name is Officer Aeryn Sun, special Peacekeeper commando, icaren company, pilizar regiment. I was born a Peacekeeper, went to fly scrubrunners at 14 and then prowler attack school at 16. Started late as I couldn't reach the frelling peddles!" (applause and laughter from crowd)

"Cut the life story short and on with the questions"

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear"

__

"Being left alone. I have always been part of a squad or a platoon so being alone would be frightening. Losing John again would be a great fear too. I love him so much"

Question 2:

"Who's your favourite Moya crew member?

__

"That would have to be John. He's stuck by me when times were bad and fought to the end. He named a star after me."

Question 3:

"What do you dream about?"

__

"John…._but don't tell him. Oh and Sesame Street. Frelling great TV programme"_

Question 4:

"What were your parents like?"

__

"My mother…….(Rygel cuts of Aeryn's sentence)

"Was a Frelling Trelk!"

__

"Rygel!!!!!" (Aeryn shouts loudly and gets out pulse pistol)

"OK, OK, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me, I'm only small. Please?" (Glare from Aeryn)

__

"Rygel, Slug head. My parents; well my Father, Talyn was a nice man and my Mother, Xhalax left me as a child. She turned into an assassin for the retrieval squad. She's dead now. Killed by Bilar Crais. He's dead too." 

Question 5:

"What's your favourite TV show?"

__

"What's the children's show I saw on Erp? Oh yes, Sesame Street. I like the strange yellow bird creature. That's where I learnt my ABC's. ABCD…...._" (_Rygel cuts of Aeryn again)

"OK, onto question 6"

Question 6:

"Do you have any children?"

__

"I will do once this ones due. I am hoping for a girl. Both John and I haven't decided on a name but I hope Moya or Pilot would like to name it."

Question 7

"What's your favourite drink?"

__

"That would be fellip nectar. According to John its like this drink called Beer found on Erp."

Question 8:

"How would you define yourself in three words?"

__

"Butch, strong and outgoing. If any girl put up a fight with me I'd punch their loomas to the stars and back." (lots of laughter from crowd)

Question 9:

"What was your earliest childhood memory?"

__

"I can't really remember much about my childhood but viewing that chip brought some of it back. Mother leaving me as a child. Watching it makes me sad.

Question 10:

"Have you ever broken a bone?"

__

"Yes I have. I went rock climbing with an inexperienced person who realised he didn't like heights. He frelling told me this as we were climbing. He then pulled my leg so that we both fell. I had to drag him back with a frelling busted leg. Frelling Dragon" (Buzzer goes off)

"We'll I am afraid that's all the time I have got for interview two. Another interview will be soon. Thank you for your time Aeryn"

"Thank you Rygel. I enjoyed my time. And remember I'm not good at nice" (crowd cheers as Aeryn exits)

**__**

Sorry this has taken so long to be updated. My computer crashed and was wiped clean so all of my new chapters I was writing were lost. I apologise for the delay and hope the wait is well worth it. I would like to know what character you would like to have interviewed next. The feedback would be greatly appreciated!


	3. Interview John Robert Crichton Jr

'We've had two interviews so now it's onto our third one with John Robert Critchon Jr. Other wise known as John Critchon or 'bad plan' as Aeryn keeps saying.

So make a warm or not so warm welcome to John Critchon' (Applause as John enters and sits down)

'Welcome John'

__

'Hey Sparky Dude. How's it going?'

'Its going fine, except for the pay, frelling crindars!' ( Critchon strokes Rygels's ears)

'Before we go off the subject lets talk about you, John'

__

'Fire them at me Guido!'

Question 1:

****

'What is your worst fear?'

__

'Apart from losing Aeryn again, it would be Earths destruction and seeing my family, Dad, Sister Olivia, Cousin Bobby and my friends be killed by the Scarrens. I won't let it happen!'

Question 2:

'Did you know Aeryn dreams about you? Do you dream about her?'

__

'She dreams about who? SPANKY!" ( _Crichton _wallops Rygel on the head twice)

(Applause from crowd)

'_Why don't you keep your nose out, slug head. If I do dream about Aeryn I wouldn't tell you. Anyway, Rygel you probably dream about food'_

'Got that right, oh and girls too. My Royal servants at my bedside'

__

'Rygel who would want to serve you?' (Grumble from Rygel)

Question 3:

'Who's your favourite Moya crew member?'

__

'Aeryn of course, she is a person I will always love no matter what obstacles fall between us. I will always be there for her, always. She is the centre of my universe'

Question 4:

'Do you have any children?'

__

'Not yet, but Aeryn has one on the way. I'm hoping for a girl. Maybe we'll call her Zhaan Critchon Jr after P'au Zotoh Zhaan. Her memory still lives with us'

Question 6:

'What's your favourite Drink?'

__

'Beer. You gotta love Beer. Suck the fellip nectar. Nothing tastes quite like a refreshing cold beer'

Question 7:

'Who is the scariest Alien you have ever met?'

__

'War MinisterAkhna_ scared the crap out of me. According to Aeryn it was her hat!' (Laughter from crowd)_

Question 8:

'Do you have any Siblings?'

__

'Yes I do. I have one sister called Olivia, Livi for short. I miss her when I'm in space. I think about her everyday, wondering what she might be doing back on Earth, Is she alive?, dead? Is there a war down there? I love her'

Question 9:

'I have heard people on Earth keep animals as pets. Do you have any?'

__

'Well apart from you, Rygel!' (Laughter from crowd)

'What the Yotz! Me an animal, nonsense!'

__

'Back to the question. Yes I do have a pet. He's called Hubble and he's a type of animal called a dog. Remember their bark is worse than their bite!'

Question 10:

'What's your favourite food?'

__

'Well apart from loving ice-cream especially 'Baskin and Robins' it would be my Grandma Crichton's buttermilk biscuits. They were delicious. Forget the food cubes out here, her biscuits are the best' (Buzzer goes off)

'Well I'm afraid that all we have time for, _Crichton_. I hope you enjoyed chatting. Don't spent too much time in bed with Aeryn. I heard you thumping around with her, no wonder you have a narl on the way'

__

'Watch what your saying there Buckwheat Sixteenth. You never know I may feed you to the Scarrens, let them have a good taste of your slimy small body'

'Please save me, don't hurt me!'

'Well shut your mouth then and keep your frelling nose out of my business, frog!'

( _Crichton _draws out 'Winona' and exit's the building) (Crowd applauds) 

****

I hope you enjoyed reading it. General Ka D'Argo is up next!!!

As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you.


	4. Interview General Ka D'Argo

So, Its onto our forth interview. So lets welcome to big Luxon warrior General Ka D'Argo!

(crowd applauds as D'Argo walks in and sits down)

Welcome Tentacles. How are you?

__

'What did you call me!'

"Nothing, nothing. I didn't mean it. Just making conversation'' (D'Argo growls)

Ok one with question one.

Question 1:

''What's your worst fear?''

__

''One of my worst fears were losing my son into slavery. I don't want to lose him again. And then there's Chiana. Chiana and I are having wonderful sex''

''Sex. That was the answer to a later question''

__

''You are going to ask me about sex, Rygel?' (D'Argo pulls out qualta blade. Crowd cheers)

''Maybe that's a bad idea''

Question 2:

''Who's you favourite Moya crew member?''

__

'That would be Chiana. She can be a fekik sometimes but other times she is loving towards me.

Question 3:

''Chiana said she had sex. Was it with you?''

__

'RYGEL!!!' (D'Argo grows angrily)

''Sorry, I'm sorry''

__

'Yes it was. As I said before Chiana and I were having wonderful sex'

Question 4:

'What's your favourite food?'

__

'Crispy Grolack roasted on an open fire.'

Question 5:

''What was it like kissing Jool?''

__

''Jool tried her best within Moya's crew. Although she wasn't liked by many she will still be a friend of mine. She has beautiful lips and it kissing her was a good way of reminding her of me. It was so lovely."

Question 6:

''Do you have any family?''

__

''Yes I do. I have a Son Jothee, and I did have a Wife Lolan who I named my ship after. Lolan sadly died and my son slept with Chiana. The little Slut!''

Question 7:

''Where would you like to live?''

__

''I'd love to take my Son and Chiana and go and live on a farm. Maybe you, Rygel would be a farm animal."

''Hey, watch it tactical!" (laughter from crowd.)

Question 8: 

''What is your favourite saying?''

__

''That would be What the hezmanna. I use it a lot when I am angry''

Question 9:

''What do you do as a hobby?''

__

''I enjoy playing the shelquin. Its an instrument. I make them as well as play them''

'I don't need your frelling noise. You have got my fart machine!"

__

''Grrrr! If you don't like my frelling music. Shut your wakket hole up!" (Laughter from crowd)

Question 10:

''D'Argo, I just farted helium. Do you smell that with your big nose"

__

"Urgh! Rygel you gas bag. Of course I can smell you. I can smell you a mile away!"

"Thank you. Your Royal Dominar thanks you!" (Buzzer goes off)

''Look at the time. Its time you have to go''

__

'I am glad. You smell awful, Rygel!''

'Thank you for chatting with us Ka D'Argo"

__

"Good bye" (Crowd applauses as D'Argo strides off out of the room, armed with quarter blade.


	5. Interview P'uo Zoto Zhaan

'We welcome most greatly into our fifth interview the Blue assed Bitch, Zhaan'

__

"Rygel, I have no intent of starting violence but if you call me that again I will flush you out of a open hanger door!"

"Okay, sorry. Rygel is sorry"

__

"That's better"

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

__

"Why should I tell you?"

Question 2:

"Do you like being blue?"

__

"Rygel, do you have a problem with my body colour?"

"err no" (Zhaan glares)

"No! I don't" (crowd applauses)

Question 3:

"Why do you feel the need to display your blue arse at every opportunity?"

__

"Do you have a problem with my backside, Rygel?"

Question 4:

"Who is your favourite Moya Crew member?"

__

"Why should I tell you Rygel? You wouldn't care unless it was food!" (Crowd cheers)

Question 5:

'What is your favourite food?"

__

"I wonder why you would ask that Rygel? Food is a strong part of you. Isn't it?"

"Without my food I am not Dominar Rygel Sixteenth. Ruler to over six hundred billion subjects. Food is my friend" (Crowd laughs and applauses)

Question 6:

"What's your favourite drink?"

__

"I don't have a favourite drink"

Question 7:

"Would you ever consider turning back to the dark side?"

__

"No. Why should I return to the darker side of me when I have so much happiness right now?"

Question 8:

"Would you and Stark think about having offspring?"  
_"Would you and Chiana think about having offspring?"_

"Certainly not! I don't want that grey Frellnick anywhere near my body!"

Question 9:

"What planet in the Uncharted Territories would you like to visit?"

__

"I could certainly not want to go to your home town Hinera. I would however like to go back to my home word and reunite with my people"

Question 10:

"Do you love me?"

__

"Rygel if this is some plot for getting food then shut your wakket hole. I do not love you but I don't dislike you. You are just an annoying slug!" (Crowd Laughs)

"How dare you call the Royal eminence a slug!"

__

"No, Rygel don't start violence"

"I don't want to" (Buzzer goes off)

"Times up. Thank you for chatting, Zhaan"

__

"By the goodness, I thank you as well, wise Rygel"

(Zhaan exit's the room)


	6. Interview Pilot

"Now it's onto our sixth interview with the lovable four armed alien called Pilot. For this interview we have come to a special location, Pilots Den on Moya, the ship. So give a round of applause for Pilot!"

(Crowd claps and cheers)

"Hello Pilot"

__

"Rygel, I see you made it here to my Den. Its nice to see you again"

"You to Pilot"

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

__

"I would greatly dislike being torn away from Moya. Being linked with her makes our bonds strong. I think she feels the same."

Question 2:

"If Aeryn hadn't named Moya's baby, what would you have called it?"

__

"That is a tough question Rygel. I would have picked a good name. It would probably be named after one of my ancestors. I see you wanted to call it Rygel. As I recall Chiana said if only it was a runt.

"Oi!, watch it four arms. I may be small but when I eat 'Tannot Root'……"

__

"Rygel I do not wish to here about your bodily functions, thank you. Next question please."

Question 3:

"What's it like having four arms?"

__

"I did have four arms until D'Argo decided to cut one off so he could gets maps for home worlds. Luckily I managed to Regenerate another one. It is good because I can complete a multitude of tasks in certain times such as when we are under attack."

Question 4:

"Do you ever wish you could have legs and walk out of here"

__

"That hasn't really crossed my mind before. I can control all I need to from here so it hasn't really bothered me. I would however like to feel what its like to have legs." 

Question 5:

"If you could guide Moya anywhere you want, where would you go?"  
_"I have always dreamt of going to somewhere where everyone would feel safe. Where there was no Peacekeepers or other brutal alien life forms. Somewhere where I will be in peace." _

Question 6:

"what's it like sharing some of your DNA with Aeryn?"

__

"I don't really feel that different physically, but emotionally I think we have bonded. I feel I am closer to Aeryn than I have ever been before."

Question 7:

"What do you hate?"

__

"YOU! No, I mostly hate it when everyone is speaking at the same time. It gives me a headache and I cannot channel in on what one person is saying."

Question 8:

"Do you have any family?"

__

"Yes I do. I was young when they left so I don't remember them."

Question 9:

"John says that your birthday is coming up this cycle. What would you like as a present?"

__

"I don't see the purpose of a birthday. I understand that Humans have parties…"

"And lots of food and drink. Ummmmm."

__

"Rygel shut your wakket hole and get on with the next question!"

Question 10

"When you die, where would you like to be buried"

__

"I would like to be buried where Talyn was. I would like my body to be scattered out amongst the stars."

(Buzzer goes off)

"Times up Four arms. It was nice to be able to chat with you" (Crowd claps and laughs)

__

"You too but I fail to see the source of your amusement." 


	7. Interview Sikozu

Its now onto our seventh interview with the redhead, Sikozu. (Crowd cheers and applauses)

"Hello, Sikozu"

"Rygel. I am happy to see you again" 

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?" 

__

"I don't really know what my worst fear would be."

Question 2:

"What is your favourite food"

__

"There are many foods which I enjoy. As I only eat ten times a cycle I end up like you Rygel: stuffing my face!"

"Hey, watch what your saying Tinkerbell." (Crowd laughs)

Question 3:

"What is like being gravity defying"

__

"I wouldn't call it to much fun if you ask me. I just get shot at from above than from below when we're are in battle." (Crowd laughs)

Question 4:

"What is like to have detachable limbs?"  
_"It does come in handy sometimes when someone has served of an arm or finger due to a battle fight. I know it may be useful but there is some pain involved which I have gone through."_  


Question 5:

"Why do you like Scorpius?"

__

"I find Scorpius…an alien who understands me and shares a similar interest. His species similar to mine."

Question 6:  
"Why don't you like apples?"

__

"Unlike some aliens who stuff there faces with everything, I prefer to stick to foods I enjoy. The apples, as Critchon calls them had an acquire taste that disagreed with me."

Question 7:  
"Do you prefer your hair up or down?"

__

"I find it better to have my hair up when in battle as it doesn't get in the way. Otherwise I'll keep it down. It adds to my appearance."  


Question 8:

"If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?"

__

"I would like to go someone with Scorpius. An island where we can be alone."

Question 9:

"Why did you crash into John's wormhole technology he was writing?"

__

"I did not crash! I merely went a little of course!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 10:

"Why don't you like Earth"

__

"It was the people there that disliked me the most. I felt like a prisoner on their world and I didn't like the people giving me strange looks."

(Buzzer goes off)

"The interview is now over. Thank you for your time, Sikozu"

__

"It was nice to talk to you Rygel" (Sikozu leaps up and ceiling walks out of the room)


	8. Interview Joolsko Tuni Fenta Hovalis

Hello everyone, its now onto our eight's interview with the screaming princess Jool!

"Hello Jool. Welcome to Sparky's Lounge"

__

"Rygel thank you for inviting me. As for this place the wall paper is despicable!" (Crowd cheers)

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

__

"I am upset when people die or worlds gage in battle. My worst fear would be the whole world fighting. That is something I would hate."

Question 2:

"What is your favourite drink?"

__

"I don't really have a favourite drink. I must say that the anaesthetic, frellip urine was very tasty until…They made me drink piss!!!" (Crowd Cheers and laughs)

Question 3:

''Why do you scream your head off?"

__

"I only do it when people get on my nerves or I hurt myself. I can demonstrate it if you like?"

"Err, no thank you, Jool."

Question 4:

"What was it like being in a pod for 22 cycles?"  
_"I don't remember because I was asleep until some frog ass woke me up!"_

Question 5:

"What did it feel like to be shot in the arm at a peace memorial?"

__

"Like total dren! Those frellnicks better point their arrows in another direction next time. Ahhh I got shot at a peace memorial!"

Question 6:  


"What is your favourite food?"  
_"I like all kinds of food as long as it is cooked properly."_

Question 7:

"Do you have family?"

__

"My family are non of your business, Rygel. My cousins on the other hand got killed to save Critchon's brain from being taken over by Harvey. Harvey never got removed."

Question 8:

"Where is your favourite planet?"}  
_"At the movement, Rygel it is Assneck where I help the priests. The community is so large now."_

Question 9:

"Are you jealous that Chiana and D'Argo love each other?"

__

"Yes I am! That frelling ally whore is too young for him!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 10:

"John says the tradition in December is Christmas where everyone gets presents. What have you brought me?"

__

"Non of your frelling business. All you think about is yourself. More people should hate you than me. Anyway who says I got you a present"

(Buzzer goes off)

"Times up, Princess. Thank you for chatting to me"

__

"Yes now I can leave. This place is despicable!" (Crowd applauses)

(Jool exit's the room)

__


	9. Interview Scorpius

Now it's onto our Ninth interview with the evil scarren Scorpius.

"Good afternoon, Scorpius"

__

"Rygel, it is good to see you again."

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

__

"I think that my worst fear has yet to come."

Question 2:  
"What is your favourite food?"

__

"I particularly liked part of John's brain. Mmmm very tasty."

Question 3:

"What's it like to be evil?"

__

"Like this Grrrrr!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 4:

"Do you think Sikozu and you will one day have offspring?"

__

"Ah, Sikozu the one I love. I most hope we do."

Question 5:

"How do you feel now Graza has put you down the ranks?"

__

"Frell that Woman. She is nothing than a black haired alien with sweating loomas!" (Crowd applauses and laughs)

Question 6:

"Why do you like Sikozu?"

__

"She is a species I have never come across before. I find her interesting in the way she interacts with me. She is my soul mate."

Question 7:

"What is it like using coolant rods in your head?"

__

"Well without them I will heat up, suffer the living death and die. They are my life saver!"

Question 8:  
"What planet would you most like to visit?"

__

"Although I have already been to John's planet Earth, I would like to go back again to collect some of the special bird of paradise flowers that grow there."

Question 9:

"What was it like being put in the chair?"

__

"I felt like the whole of the room was spinning…if only Sikozu was there it would be more fun!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 10:  
"Would you get me some food please. I'm hungry?"

__

"Get your own frelling food, Rygel. I came to an be interviewed not to get you food!" (Scorpius growls)

(Buzzer goes off) 

"Okay and I am afraid that's the end. Thank you Scorpius for coming to talk"

__

"I thank you for inviting me to join you Rygel."

(Scorpius exits)

__


	10. Interview Stark

Now we're onto our tenth interview with the schizophrenic bannik slave, Stark.

"Stark, good to see you again. Please take a seat"

__

"My side, your side, my side your side!"

"Yes, Now shut your wakket hole so I can begin with the questions!"

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

__

"I find dying and fighting a depressing subject to watch so I think that is my worst fear. There is so much dying, so much killing in this world!"

Question 2:

"What was it like being a prisoner of Scorpius for two years?"

__

"I tried, I tired to escape but everyday, everyday he put me in the chair. Round, and round, and round I go…stick me in the chair, stick me in the chair, turn it on and leave me there. Weeeeeee!"

Question 3:

"Who is your favourite Moya crew member?"

__

"I would have to agree on Zhaan. She was always my protector and peacemaker. When I needed someone to talk to I went to her. She was a soul mate of mine."

Question 4:

"What was it like to be knocked unconscious at a Peace Memorial?"

__

"Not good. Frell!, Frell!, Frell!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 5:

"What was it like to be linked to Talyn?"

__

"It was strange. I was connected to the ship. I had full control over everything."

Question 6:  
"What it like seeing a bionoid of yourself?"

__

"Strange, very strange…He's dead now…that is good, good."

Question 7:

"Do you have a favourite food?"

__

"Rygel, is food always an issue for you!?"

"Yes!"

Question 8:

"Do you have family?"  
_"I had family…they died. They were slaves."_

Question 9:

"What planet would you like to travel to?"  
_"I would like to go back to my home planet. A place where I will be with my own kind."_

Question 10:

"Do you know any good jokes?"

__

"Yes, yes. Why did Stark stop the traffic?"

"I don't know. Why did Stark stop the traffic?"

__

"So he could cross-over!" (Rygel and crowd laugh)

(Buzzer goes off)

"I am sorry but times up. Thanks for chatting Stark."

__

"Thank you!, thank you!, thank you!"

(Stark exits)

__


	11. Interview Utu Noranti Pralatong

Now we are onto our eleventh interview with the old wrinkly Granny, Noranti!

"Boo! Hello Cookie Monster!"

Ah!, Oh! Hello, Norani. Thanks for coming." (Crowd cheers and laughs)

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

"Rygel, mine would be waking up in a bed next to you!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 2:

"Why did you poison the rats' on Earth?"

"Rats are no good. They smell!"

Question 3:

"Why do you to always fall asleep when we are in danger?"

"I have to preserve my energy, so I sleep."

Question 4:

"Have you heard of washing your self?"

"Yes! I shall not wash because it rubs off my odours!"

"Noranti you smell!"

"Why thank you, Rygel." (Crowd laughs and applauses)

Question 5:

''What is your favourite food?"

"Food cooked by me I like very much. Stew is a favourite of mine."

Question 6:

"Why did you strip naked?"

"I just took of my clothes. How else do you get John and D'Argo's attention!?"

Question 7:  
"What is your favourite drink?"

"I make a mean tea. Everything goes into it. I have always wondered why the crew dislike it. Maybe it's the yellow colour?"

Question 8:

"What was it like to be genetically modified?"

"It was useful. I could then go around and blow dust at the Scarrens without them noticing. Noranti had fun."

Question 9:

"You were eating flowers on Earth. Do you like them?"

"Rygel, yes I do. Earth had so many edible things for me to eat." 

Question 10:

"Have you got any candy corn?"

"I have a big stash outside, Rygel. Afterwards we can eat ourselves silly!"

"Why do I deserve this dren!" (Crowd laughs and cheers)

(Buzzer Goes off)

"I'm going to have to call it a day. Thanks for chatting Noranti….Now where is the sugary treats…….?"

"I'll cook up the best stew just for you Rygel! Goodbye!"

(Noranti exits)

**__**

AN:/ _Thank you for all the positive reviews I have been getting. I am happy that you all enjoy my series of interviews. Please read and review. Bracca will be up next!_


	12. Interview Bilar Crais

Now its onto out twelfth interview with the black haired PK called 'Cap 'n' Crunch A..K.A Crais!

"Welcome, Welcome Crais"

"Rygel, its nice to see you again"

Question 1:  
"What is your worst fear?"  
_"I do not wish to tell you. That question is of unimportance."_

  
Question 2:

"What was it you most liked about Talyn?"

__

"He was a fine ship. Always engaged In battle, saving my life."  


Question 3:  
"Why did you kill, Xhalax Sun, Aeryn's Mother?"

__

"She was a threat towards Aeryn. It was the only way I could have stopped her altogether."

Question 4:

"Do like Aeryn?"

__

"Of course."

Question 5:

"Have you got a favourite drink?"

__

"An alcohol drink would suit me best. Something like fellip nectar or hot raslak."

Question 6:  
"What was it like to hear your brother had died?"

__

"Touvo was a good man, a good brother. He died."

Question 7:  
"Do you still blame Critchon for Touvo's death?"

__

"I understand that John stated it was an accident but my brother is dead and I will still blame him until he dies." 

Question 8:

"What was it like in the aurora chair?"

__

"I would not like to endure that amount of pain again, thank you" (Crowd applauses and cheers)

Question 9:  
"How did it feel to be blind on Dam ba de depot?"

__

"Frelled! I couldn't see and I had that manic Stark loose on the ship shouting frell an all that!" (Crowd laugh)

Question 10:  
"What is your favourite saying?"  
_"That would have to be 'Talyn starburst!"_

(Buzzer goes off)  


"That was all the time we have left, Crais. Thanks for chatting with me."

__

"My pleasure, Rygel. Anytime."

(Crais exits)  



	13. Interview Bracca

Now its onto our thirteenth interview with the PK, Bracca!

"Hello, Bracca."

__

"Good to see you again Rygel."

Question 1:

"What is your worst fear?"

__

"Seeing Grazer in the dead of the night!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 2:

"Do you like Grazer?"

__

"I work to serve my captain. I see Scorpius more of a caption than that frelling bitch, Grazer!"

Question 3:

"What was it like to be Scorpius' spy?"

__

"It was immensely thrilling. I would do anything for Scorpius."

Question 4:

"Do you have a favourite drink?"

__

"Yes. Something hot."

Question 5:

"What is your favourite pastime?

__

"I like to sit in the mess hall and have a drink and chat with my fellow shipmates. It is good to catch up with the news and relax away from being on duty."

Question 6:

"What is your favourite food?"

__

"I don't have a favourite food. When I was younger I loved food cubes though."

Question 7:

"Is there a planet that you wish you could visit?"

__

"I think that I have been to many of the planets that I wish to go to."

Question 8:

"Do you have a childhood memory?"

__

"When I was living on the command carrier as a child I would sneak into the mess hole and steal the food. Later my Father found out and wasn't very happy."

"That sounds like fun…ummmm food!" (Crowd laughs)

Question 9:

"When was the last time you had a shower?"

__

"Excuse me Rygel!?"

"When was the last time you washed?"

__

"I understand that. Why do you want to know? Do you think I smell!?"

"Err no, well, I um…"

__

"Spit it out slug head!"

"Ooops it's me. I farted helium!" (Crowd laughs and applauses)

Question 10:

"What is your favourite colour?"

__

"Well my uniform consists of black and red and I am very proud of those colours. So I think that those colours are my favourite."

(Buzzer goes off)

"Times up, Bracca. Thanks for the chat"

__

"No, thank you, Rygel."

(Bracca exits)


	14. Interview DRD 1812

Now it's onto our finale (Sob!, Sob!) Interview with the musical DRD, 1812. I will be interpretation what 1812 says as many of you won't be able to understand what he is saying. Frelling translator microbes!

"Welcome DRD 1812"

__

"Beep, Beep, Beep"

"1812 says thank you, thank you, thank you"

Question 1:

"What is your greatest fear"

__

"Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep"

"1812 said that he would not like to malfunction and be melted into scrapes. That would be his greatest fear."

Question 2:

"Do you have a favourite moya crew member"

__

"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep."

"1812 said he liked Chiana the most. She is a 'Mother' figure to him"

Question 3:

"Do you eat anything?"

__

"Beep, beep, beep"

"1812 says he eats dentics!" (Crowd laughs)

"Beep!"

"Oops sorry, translated that wrong. He says he eats nothing."

Question 4:

"Who is your favourite DRD?"

__

"BEEB!"

"1812 says me!" (Crowd cheer and applause)

Question 5;

"What was it like to be on Elack, the other leviathan ship?"

__

"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep"

"1812 said it was fun. He liked the environment there"

Question 6:

"What its like being a DRD?"

__

"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep"

"1812 says 'it's a small world.' He likes to move around Moya and help out with maintenance jobs."

Question 7:

"Is there any planets you wish to go to?"

__

"Beep"

"1812 said no there wasn't"

Question 8:

"Is it fun to be a DRD?"

__

"Beep, beep, beep, beep"

"1812 said yes. He likes to be small and scoot around the place. He says it isn't fun though when D'Argo kicks him!"

Question 9:

"Can DRD's get married and have children?"

__

"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep"

"1812 said he was built and DRD's don't have children or get married."

Question 10:

"As this is the last interview can you play the 1812 overture?"

__

"Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep"

"1812 says yes he can and he will play it for every frelling one!"

(1812 plays 1812 overture as crowd clap)

(Buzzer goes off)

"Frell, times up, 1812. Nice to communicate with you"

__

"Beep, beep"

"1812 says thank you and he enjoyed chatting very much"

(1812 exits playing 1812 overture)

**__**

AN:/ Thank you ever so much to everyone who read and reviewed these series of short interviews. It really made me smile to get the reviews. It's so nice that people appreciate my work. I have really enjoyed writing this series and hope to do some more humorous fanfics with the Farscape characters in the future. Sparky's Lounge has been nominated in the Farscape fanfic awards. The voting starts in January. If you liked my fanfic please vote. : )


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